"Yes. The headmaster's desires are as inscrutable as they are..."

Instead of finishing that line, he coughs. Even a sourpuss like him knows that it's unwise to trash talk one's boss so publicly. All the same, he hopes the irritation he has for being that Willy Wonka's Oompa-Loompa got across.

Nice to see him? Porrim would be the first to say so without a heaping helping of sarcasm.

"Thank you," he said more out of obligation than human warmth. "Perhaps he'll require one familiar with the Heimlich maneuver, or diverse toxins."

What can he say? This genius could double as a doctor, sans bedside manner.