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alternate_university2020-01-04 10:28 pm
cool_skeleton) wrote in alternate_university2020-01-04 10:28 pm
In your own WORDs (Action, OTA)
[Papyrus, despite his poor grades in general studies, is nonetheless determined to wade into the deep waters of his major: Political Science. Surely that will pave the way to his dream job of monster-human diplomat. What's a little English or Math compared to that?
His exuberance and continual insistence finally forced the hand of a professor years ahead of his academic trajectory, who reluctantly lent him a copy of the subject's seminal work: The Process of Government: A Study of Social Pressures. All 500 pages of it.
Now, Papyrus liked to read, especially books about puzzlemanship. But this was an entirely different puzzle, one whose maze-like jargon and academic rigor lost him like nothing before. Monster society had nothing like this, or at least nothing he ever saw in the Librarby.
No matter! He's a genius! He can figure out this insanely complicated book and all others like it! What did a wise professor once tell him? "If you want to test your understanding, see whether you can explain it to a layman." Then the professor had to explain what a layman was.
And so he set out across campus to scream down laymen and laywomen (LIKE YOU) alike so they might hear his elucidation and tell him how enlightening he was.]
AHEM!!! YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS PRESENTS TO YOU THE FIRST PAGE OF TPOC: ASOSP!! ALL IN GLORIOUS PAPYRUS PARAPHRASE!!!
THE, UH, BEST WAY TO EXPLAIN POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT AND STUFF LIKE THAT IS BY THE FEELINGS OF AND IDEAS OF THE PEOPLE IN THEM. LIKE ME!! AND YOU!!!
THERE ARE OTHER WAYS, LIKE WHERE PEOPLE ARE OR WHAT THEY'RE MADE OF. THEY SUCK!! AND THERE'S ALSO OLD-FASHIONED FEELINGS AND IDEAS, BUT THEY WON'T DO!!! OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW!!!!
AND EVEN THOUGH IDEAS AND FEELINGS ARE PSYCHIC, PSYCHOLOGY STILL ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. NOPE!!! ONLY OUR FEELINGS AND IDEAS MEET MY STANDARDS. THE REST IS PRETTY MUCH BUPKIS!!
SO WHATCHA THINK??? AM I MAKING SO MUCH SENSE, YOU'VE GOT DOLLARS!?
His exuberance and continual insistence finally forced the hand of a professor years ahead of his academic trajectory, who reluctantly lent him a copy of the subject's seminal work: The Process of Government: A Study of Social Pressures. All 500 pages of it.
Now, Papyrus liked to read, especially books about puzzlemanship. But this was an entirely different puzzle, one whose maze-like jargon and academic rigor lost him like nothing before. Monster society had nothing like this, or at least nothing he ever saw in the Librarby.
No matter! He's a genius! He can figure out this insanely complicated book and all others like it! What did a wise professor once tell him? "If you want to test your understanding, see whether you can explain it to a layman." Then the professor had to explain what a layman was.
And so he set out across campus to scream down laymen and laywomen (LIKE YOU) alike so they might hear his elucidation and tell him how enlightening he was.]
AHEM!!! YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS PRESENTS TO YOU THE FIRST PAGE OF TPOC: ASOSP!! ALL IN GLORIOUS PAPYRUS PARAPHRASE!!!
THE, UH, BEST WAY TO EXPLAIN POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT AND STUFF LIKE THAT IS BY THE FEELINGS OF AND IDEAS OF THE PEOPLE IN THEM. LIKE ME!! AND YOU!!!
THERE ARE OTHER WAYS, LIKE WHERE PEOPLE ARE OR WHAT THEY'RE MADE OF. THEY SUCK!! AND THERE'S ALSO OLD-FASHIONED FEELINGS AND IDEAS, BUT THEY WON'T DO!!! OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW!!!!
AND EVEN THOUGH IDEAS AND FEELINGS ARE PSYCHIC, PSYCHOLOGY STILL ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. NOPE!!! ONLY OUR FEELINGS AND IDEAS MEET MY STANDARDS. THE REST IS PRETTY MUCH BUPKIS!!
SO WHATCHA THINK??? AM I MAKING SO MUCH SENSE, YOU'VE GOT DOLLARS!?
no subject
"I am certain I have banked tens of them at this point," Porrim interjected.
"But just to make sure they are in a currency that is accepted at local institutions, can I ask for a few clarifications? What is the 'new' that we're moving in to replace the old, exactly?"
no subject
"NICE!! I'LL MAKE A 'BUCK'AROO OUT OF YOU YET!" His puns, like himself, are genius.
"GLAD YOU ASKED! THAT WOULD BE OUR RIGHT-NOW FEELINGS AND FACULTIES! WHICH ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE OLD-FASHIONED ONES CAUSE THOSE ARE...UM..."
He whipped out the book again, scrutinizing the text.
"ANIMISTIC AND IRRESPONSIBLE. LIKE AN ANNOYING DOG! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW THE TEXT SHOOS THAT OUT!!!"
"Animistic" hasn't found its way into his lexicon yet.
no subject
"What is this exactly? Tee-Pock Ass-ospe?"
He had mentioned something about government and politics and from what she gathered the most important thing about those two subjects was feelings. Maybe that was true; they were in a democratic republic. While the latter was designed to be a foil on the risks of the former, politicians were still beheld to the passions of the public, even if moderated.
"Are you perhaps saying that the issues that modern populations are concerned with are very different from the ones from before?"
no subject
"SEE AND HEAR FOR YOURSELF: 'THE PROCESS OF GOVERNMENT'. SUGGESTED SUBTITLE: A BIG BOOK FOR PAPYRUS' BIG BRAIN!! FIRST I STUDY THIS, THEN I GET MY DIPLOMA, THEN I'LL BE A DIPLOMAT!!! IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THIS ISN'T!!!"
Alas, he must refer to it again, thoughtfully skimming.
"...OH, WAIT! THAT'S JUST THE CHAPTER TITLE!!! FEELINGS AND FACULTIES AREN'T ACTUALLY GOOD ENOUGH. I THINK THEY WERE OLD WHEN THIS BOOK WAS NEW, SO IT'S GONNA...EXPLAIN STUFF...IN OTHER WAYS THAT ARE MUCH MORE RESPONSIBLE AND UNANIMISTIC. THAT'S THE TICKET...! AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT BEFORE YOU EXPLAIN THINGS ONE WAY YOU HAVE TO CLEAR UP A HALF DOZEN WAYS THAT ARE WRONG. RIGHT??? RIGHT!!!"
Not dissimilar to what's happening now.
no subject
"It's going to? Papyrus are you lecturing people on the contents of book you haven't read yet?"
no subject
Shock! Alarm! Then a flattered smile.
"WOWIE, THAT'S THE NICEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY! I'VE ONLY BEEN IN COLLEGE A FEW MONTHS AND I ALREADY SOUND LIKE ONE OF OUR BRILLIANT PROFESSORS!! THANKS!!! I'LL HAVE TO CONSIDER THAT CAREER IF THE DIPLOMAT THING DOESN'T WORK OUT!"
He'll let the stars in his eyes fade in order to get back down to earth.
"PSHH! OF COURSE I READ IT!! I'VE GOT THE FIRST PAGE ON LOCK! HAVE YOU? WHERE DOES IT GO?? WAIT!! IS THAT A SPOILER??"
Just 499 to go!
no subject
"Papyrus, can you please slow down, I can only reply to one thing at a time..."
And there were so, so many things that he just said that bore replying to.
no subject
"NO PROBLEMO!! WHETHER IT'S MY BONE OR MY BRAIN LEGS, I'M PRETTY HARD TO KEEP UP WITH!!! TAKE YOUR TIME!"
He's a genius and a track superstar. Some people just have it all.
no subject
"Usually you want to read a significant portion of a book before you start discussing it, and you want to read and understand a large portion of it before you start trying to explain what a book says."
no subject
"YUP! THAT ALL SOUNDS REASONABLE TO ME!!"
But she prefaced with "usually". Of course there's nothing usual about Papyrus, and he knows that for a fact. Many have said so! So he can go where other academians fear to tread. Because he's exceptional.
"BUT WITH ME AROUND YOU HARDLY HAD TO READ IT AT ALL, RIGHT!?"
no subject
She suddenly understands that despite Papyrus' significant ineptitude, he has the utmost confidence in himself. How could she possibly try to undermine that? It was something that she wished for on a day to day basis, that ability to blissfully not question your own competencies.
"But," Porrim said, thinking out loud. "Isn't it kind of rude not to read it, since they put so much work into writing it?"
no subject
That's certainly one way to undermine him: making him doubt his manners. Reading in general was the natural conclusion; as he said, he did read the book in question. A whole page of it.